stop this!

God says to come out of complacency. Stop playing around. Stop doubting, stop wondering, stop trying to hide. Focus. God is saying WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!! His people are starting to get a little sleepy. That's the problem here. Wake Up children of God, wake up! Stand up and pick up your heads. Straighten your legs and hold up your arms. Stop distracting yourself with the things of this world. Stop making excuses. Peace Be still and know that He is God. Get up and fight. Build up your faith. Pray. Run. Run and don't stop.

Souls: don't be downcast. Be on fire
Minds: be clean, in subjection to the Word.
Spirits: be full of the Word and of His Spirit. Be hungry....pray...with desperation

Fifteen great things in my life right now. 1. God is faithful no matter what. God never will not overwhelm me. I can truly sit here and say that I have, in the last 3 days fallen completely in love with Him all over again. At the very moment in my life where I think I've lost it is the very moment He fixes everything He's God and nothing that happens can change Him, move Him, confuse Him. He holds the world in the hollow of His hand and is forever faithful. 2. The compassion. I've seen that the compassion that I've never had yet always prayed for, He has finally given me just an ounce. But that one ounce seems like a river. I can't explain it, I am so grateful for who He is and how great He is. My cry is His cry. To be one with Him just as Him and the Father are one. I WANT HIS HEART and if I don't get it then lifeÂ’s not worth living. Hungry, desperate, thirsty, I want His heart. I want to fall deeper in love with Him. 3. Family. If it weren't for my family that He has given me I trulywouldn'tnÂ’t be where I am right now. I am so thankful. Even though our relationships aren't perfect God is changing them right now and drawing us closer together. It's amazing when you live in the house with people and find out that you don't really know their heart. 4. Friends. Relationships in Him are something that I need to live. I have seen through the past couple of months how much friendship means to me. I want to know every one of your hearts and I want ya'll to know my heart. Ok this might be considered cheating but I don't care. I can't just sit here and do this right now. I can't separate things into groups. All I know is that God is doing something in me at this very moment that is unspeakable. It's something I haven't felt in a LONG time. I just want more than Him. I see these people I'm around every day and I feel their hurt. I feel their heartache and it's unbearable. I hear what their crying out at night and my heart is broken. I used to wonder how Mrs. Diane could cry over the lost and I know now. I've prayed for this for so long. I've prayed for open doors and their there. God is so faithful. God opens up His hand and satisfy every need. He is merciful and compassionate. He is so big and I am so small and yet He cares. I want to be broken . So broken that I can't put myself back together and neither can anyone else. Only Him. I want Him and Him alone to rule and reign, and speak, and instruct, and guide. I want my heart to be so bare, so stripped. I want you all to know me as He knows me. I just want to be a vessel. and empty vessel for him. I WANT to go through the wilderness and the fire. It's worth it, it really is worth it. who he is and what He's done I can't comprehend and I don't need to. He is God and I am not. He is almighty, He is all powerful, and He is worthy. I want to know that every breath that take is in Him. I want Him and nothing else matters anymore. I don't need to try to figure it out I don't need to understand. He is, He is. There is nothing else but him. I want to be able to look at people and say to them that if they look and do what I do, they're pleasing Him. He is worthy and I'm not holding back any longer. If tonight is the last time I had I want to spend it praising Him. Time is something I can't control. JESUS HAVE YOUR WAY. BREAK ME, BREAK ME, I DON'T WANT TO GET IN THE WAY AGAIN. I AM RUNNING, YOU TRULY HAVE BECOME MY SOULS CRY. I WANT TO BE ONE JUST AS YOU AND HIM ARE ONE. NO MORE OF THIS. HEART, WAKE UP- SOUL, WAKE UP- JESUS SHAKE ME!!! I NEED YOU MORE THAN FOOD, MORE THAN DRINK, MORE THEN KNOWLEDGE, MORE THAN SLEEP, MORE THAN COMFORT. JESUS HAVE YOU WAY. STRIP ME, MOLD ME, CHANGE ME, SHOW ME. YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH. HEAR THE CRY OF MY HEART, MY SOUL, THE VERY ESSENCECE OF ME NEEDS YOU. JESUS.

just havin' fun...

Well, this Christmas was good...relaxing. I did find myself missing everyone up in Alex. I got a camera. As you can tell I favor black and white.





Me and Les were really bored riding to Pollock.



This is when it's on micro- that's my knee

Here's my ipod I got. I couldn't get the picture clear enough.

Yes... It's GREEN *big smile*

This is @ bro. Danny and mrs. Sara's house (it was cold)

I was showing Sharon how fast it can take pictures-
it's like a movie when you look at them - i just didn't
feel like uploading them tonight.

This was at nan at teryls, Bro. Teryl was
teaching deLanie how to "punch like a man" .

Merry Christmas!!!

I'm going to post a few pictures later.

by the way- it really is 11:49. I can't figure out what to set me clock too.

Over the river and through the woods...

To Grandmother's house we go
The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh
Through white and drifted snow
Over the river and through the woods
Oh how the wind does blow
It stings the toes and bites the nose
As over the ground we go
Over the river and through the woods
To have a full day of play
Oh, hear the bells ringing ting a ling ling
For it is Christmas Day
Over the river and through the woods
Trot fast my dapple gray
Spring o'er the ground just like a hound
For this is Christmas Day
Over the river and through the woods
And straight through the barn yard gate
It seems that we go so dreadfully slow
It is so hard to wait
Over the river and through the woods
Now Grandma's cap I spy
Hurrah for fun the pudding's done
Hurrah for the pumpkin pie.

We're about to leave- I'm sure I'll post later....I'll miss ya'll!

Fifteen personal picky food rules. 1. No Touching! I really don't mind if people, depending who it is, touch my food but the food itself can't touch. I won't freak out but it does bother me. I want to taste each thing. 2. The difference between bowls and plates. Certain foods go in certain dishes. Salads go in bowls. Spaghetti- I CAN'T eat it on a plate, has to be a bowl. Any kind of meat has to be on a plate. Dip for chips or what not has to be in a little mini bowl. I could go on...There is one thing. Eggs-scrambled, can go in either or. 3. Cold & Ice. My drink can't just be cold as in being in the refrigerator; it has to have ice in it. I prefer my cup to be filled with ice first (half way) and THEN the drink poured on top. 4. Hot, not lukewarm. My food has to be HOT. Warm doesn't work. If it's neither hot nor cold but lukewarm I will literally spew it out my mouth. If the food is supposed to be hot I should have to blow on it before I can eat it. If it's supposed to be cold I should be able to get a brain freeze if I eat it to fast. (The only thing that this doesn't apply to is potato salad!) 5. Coffee. Give me the real stuff. I prefer to have real coffee, as in no decafe. Although my body is so immune to the caffeine that I don't get any slight bit of a buzz, it does taste a whole lot better with it. 6. Sandwiches and the law of mayo. Now, I DO NOT like mayo but if it is on the sandwich it has to be on the side by the cheese because that's what it compliments. The mustard has to be on the side with meat because that's what it compliments. 7. Subway, they know me there. I'm weird about subway. (well I'm weird period). I could eat it every day. The sad thing is that I get the same sandwich every time I go. I have never accept once gotten something else and it was a salad. Not only do I have to get the same thing but it MUST go it a certain order: Italian BMT on Italian herb and cheese bread. Swiss cheese. (and in this order) cucumbers, bellpepers, pickles, and banana peppers, oil and vinegar, salt and pepper. Then when I eat it I open it up eat the cucumbers first, second the bell peppers, and then close it and eat the sandwich. (I know, high maintenance) 8. Boiled eggs. I love boiled eggs however the one thing that make them perfect is a little lemon pepper on the side- talk about good. 9. No oatmeal. I absolutely hate oatmeal. It is the most disgusting thing. The taste, the texture- all of it- gross. 10. Tomatoes and ketchup. I can't eat raw tomatoes. They have to be cooked or baked or, my most favorite, sun-dried! Les can just eat one like an apple, that is nasty. It has a different taste and the texture is way different. I don't eat ketchup either. BBQ sauce it a different story though. 11. Ranch. I can't eat it on a salad. I prefer the homemade kind too. The only way I'll eat it is with veggies and in salsa. 12. Straws. If I have choice I want to drink out of a straw especially if it's a fountain drink. Don't ask me why I just do. 13. I really don't want to see your food! I hate when I'm eating with people, especially at school, and their talking to me while their eating and I can see the hamburger and french fry in their mouth. chew, swallow, breathe, and then talk to me. I can wait- believe me. 14. I could never live in the north! Bland food makes me want to gag. Like when I eat crawfish, I should taste the crab boil on it and my nose should be running. Any food that doesn't open up your sinuses isn't worth eating. (ok, not all of it) 15. Pickles. I like dill, zesty, anything but sweet or bread and butter. I can't stand a sweet tasting pickle. It's called a *pickle* for a reason.

FINALLY- I'M DONE!!!

Thank God! Today was the last day of school. I don't have to go back till the 8th of January. YAY! Time to plan something for all of us to see each other. We'll I'm sure I'll be posting more later. Check out the link below. You might have already seen it through e-mail.


http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=b2430fc41e57e96904e52a3G06121412

bored...

I’m sitting in my 4th hour English class bored to death. I just finished my exam. I did well actually. It wasn’t as hard as I thought. I’m really bored. I’m going to Deanna’s after this to study for Doc and Spanish. I heard that Bj is singing tonight….to what? I can’t wait to see everybody tonight. Oh, and did I mention that I am bored? I get out at 11:15.
Well, I’ve been making time to read the Word in the morning or at night and I’ve really seen a difference. Just in how clear I’m able to think. I know it sounds silly but I’m serious. I don’t feel so *ah!*. It is so refreshing. Well, I think I’ll go back to my seat now. I’m getting bored with this. I will see all of you tonight. Have fun….

Fifteen most annoying sounds in the world. 1.Tapping their fingers. on a table for a long period of time. 2. My mothers voice. But only when she's calling Lesley. She makes this weird sound...I don't know, it just annoying. 3. Printers. when the paper just keeps coming out and then the printer stops and shakes and then beeps at you because it's out of paper. 4. That lady off of that show. The one with Archie in it. Her voice is so high pitch it gives me a headache. 5. My brothers "I want something" voice. along with Jacobs 6. The bell at school. It doesn't go "ding, ding, ding" but "ping, ping, ping". Ah! drives me crazy! 7. My alarm clock. Thats a given. 8. Holly's cell phone. at 6 in the morning on a Saturday. 9. The chipmunks. Christmas songs. 10. People sniffing up their snot. because they don't know how to blow their nose like normal people. 11. My Free enterprise teacher. Mr. Lynch- just shoot me. He's from Tennessee and his voice is just horrible. 12. My Spanish teacher. Mrs. Wilson. Can't leave her out. The Hispanics are going to take over the world and our official language WILL became Spanish according to her. 13. The little whispers. while your trying to take a test. 14. The timer on the dryer. It's so loud. 15. My cell phone. when it's running out of battery.

hebrews 11:3

1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
2 For by it the elders obtained a good testimony.
3 By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.

I've been thinking about Hebrews 11 a lot lately. Our home church started it last week. I've been really thinking about verse three. I'm going to try to talk this out the best I can as clearly as I can because I understand exactly what I'm thinking but it's hard to put it to words. We started studying evolution in Biology the same week we stared Hebrews 11. (take note of that). Verse 3 says that by faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God. Now- if I asked anyone of you if you believed that God made the earth you would immediately say yes without second guessing. There is no doubt in your mind that God created the earth. The theory of evolution isn't even an option but rather quite silly. Well how do you "know" or understand that God created it? In verse 3 it says by faith. So that sureness, that unquestionable belief, that "knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt" that God created the earth, that is faith.
Now, when things are going wrong or (money is a good example) if there's not enough money for the bills, we freak out and then say we have faith. The more I looked at it the more I asked myself "When I say I have faith, God will take care of it, is it that same kind of faith and sureness I have when I say He created the world?" and I began to realize- I don't, it isn't the same. It's more like a hope or wish. I "hope" God will take care of it. I say I believe He will but yet am still unsettled inside. If faith is what is described in verse 3 then what do we really have? Is it really faith? Or do we just cover our worry and doubt and unbelief (which is sin) with a bunch of words that sound good but don't really do anything? We should be able to look at our school, jobs, households, finances, and have the same faith that God has it under control as we have that He made the world by the word.
That was just something neat I had seen. I want feed back too. I tried to explain it the best I could.

one word...

faith

Verdana- just for you Bj

Ok- I have 5 minutes before I go to bed. I haven't died. God is faithful.
For Bekah: I have read some great poems and sonnets in the past two days.
For Jordan: I have know idea but I love you so much and thank for helping me study.
For Holly: I miss you and want to see you desperately- I have a DNA molecule to construct for Monday. Any free time? :)
For Jaime: I love you to!
And last but not least, For Bj: I know exactly what you're talking about. I have a lot of things to say- just waiting for the right time to.

I MISS EVERYONE!!!
I hope everyone's week is going well. I love you all and am thinking and praying for ya'll.
Bring forth fruit unto righteousness in all meekness and humility with a servants heart.
I'll post the "lot of things to say" later.

P.S. for Bj- Please don't forget to water Kandi's poinsettia! not to much!!

A busy week ahead and no more energy left...

I'm gonna be so busy this week with school. I hate it when all your teachers try to cram everything in before mid-terms. All I keep saying is "two more weeks till I'm done with school for this year". I'm fighting my mind and flesh- keeping myself calm about mid-terms because I WILL NOT END UP IN THE HOSPITAL THIS YEAR!!!!! I am not going to allow that to happen. Even though my body is and has been whacked out for months I have to keep going. I *feel* like I can't do it anymore, but I *know* that I can and unfortunately have to. I know that this is all just a distraction to keep me away from the Word and hearing Him speak. That's what we talked about today in home church. Not letting the things of this world distract or deceive us. When that happens it chokes the work that God is doing. We have to be steadfast in fellowship and relationship with one another and steadfast in faith. We can't allow ourselves to have any idol time. We are starting to study faith. Its hard to put to death the flesh to read the word. To get up that 10 minutes early to spend time in His presence. All I want is God to show me my heart. I'll have to post later about what happened to me Friday at school.