Self-Consciousness

:)

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest". ~Matthew 11:28

God means us to live a fully-orbed life in Christ Jesus, but there are times when that life is attacked from the outside, and we tumble into a way of introspection which we thought had gone. Self-consciousness is the first thing that will upset the completeness of the life in God, and self-consciousness continually produces wrestling. Self-consciousness is not sin; it may be produced by a nervous temperament or by a sudden dumping down into new circumstances. It is never Gods will that we should be anything less than absolutely complete in Him. Anything that disturbs rest in Him must be cured at once, and it is not cured by being ignored, but by coming to Jesus Christ. If we come to Him and ask Him to produce Christ-consciousness, He will always do it until we learn to abide in Him.

Never allow the dividing up of your life in Christ to remain without facing it. Beware of leakage, of the dividing up of your life by the influence of friends or of circumstances; beware of anything that is going to split up your oneness with Him and make you see yourself separately. Nothing is so important as to keep right spiritually. The great solution is the simple one - "Come unto Me." The depth of our reality, intellectually, morally and spiritually, is tested by these words. In every degree in which we are not real, we will dispute rather than come. ~My Utmost For His Highest

Buhay Kolehiyo

So. College life. I don’t know if I can really classify it as college life yet. Classes don’t officially start till Monday but so far I love it.

Sunday was awkwardly okay. I forced myself to be in that big room away from everyone I knew for a bit. I didn’t get nervous but it was kinda overwhelming there for a while. Awkward when it seems as if everyone is talking amongst themselves and you’re the only one just standing there. What a freshman! Things did get much better though but that night I came home after a forced bowling trip (no seriously, it was mandatory), crawled in bed and said “I hate this, why am I here? By the time this week is over my comfort zone won’t even exist”. I got over that by Monday…most of it at least. Monday was game day. Yes, those crazy games that are amazingly fun to play with people you know. But it turned out fine actually. They made us jump in the pool, do this Caribbean baseball game (which you so need to learn how to play because it’s supper fun), all sorts of stuff. And yes, of course, we have to do a skit at the end of the week…oh joy! Everyone knows how much Lauren loves that. Anyway, we’ve had a lot of group meetings and whatnot but I’m not gonna go into all that. I like it.

It’s amazing. I absolutely love it here. It’s like I just fit. I have nothing more to say for now.

So Today's the Day

Today's the day I leave my home. It's funny when I sit back and think about it. This day is one that I have dreaded, dreamed about, prayed for, cried about, thought would never come and tried to avoid haha! Tell me that's possible? It's going to have to be. All my stuff is empty and the boxes are packed in the car. What's a girl to do? All these "see ya later"'s are getting somewhat depressing and I keep saying that in 4 weeks from now we're all going to look back and say "gah! We are such babies!". This time is exactly what most people have said it would be, bitter sweet. I'm a little nervous about the unknown but I know this is His will. Last night I sat on my floor with all my boxes around me and all of a sudden those words, "what am I doing?" and as I carried things out of my room I'm constantly having this conversation with God, "God, I don't want to do this, no you just don't understand, I love you and I want to obey you, just not now"...pitiful...and yet His grace is more than enough to quiet all the things around me, to quiet my mind, will and emotions and bring peace. I can't wait to see what He's gonna do. Let's go!

This Experience Must Come

Once again it never ceases to amaze me this little book :)

"And he saw him no more."~2 Kings 2:12

It is not wrong to depend upon Elijah as long as God gives him to you, but remember the time will come when he will have to go; when he stands no more to you as your guide and leader, because God does not intend he should. You say - "I cannot go on without Elijah." God says you must.

Alone at your Jordan. v.14. Jordan is the type of separation where there is no fellowship with anyone else, and where no one can take the responsibility for you. You have to put to the test now what you learned when you were with your Elijah. You have been to Jordan over and over again with Elijah, but now you are up against it alone. It is no use saying you cannot go; this experience has come, and you must go. If you want to know whether God is the God you have faith to believe Him to be, then go through your Jordan alone.

Alone at your Jericho. v.15. Jericho is the place where you have seen your Elijah do great things. When you come to your Jericho you have a strong disinclination to take the initiative and trust in God, you want someone else to take it for you. If you remain true to what you learned with Elijah, you will get the sign that God is with you.

Alone at your Bethel. v.23. At your Bethel you will find yourself at your wits' end and at the beginning of God's wisdom. When you get to your wits' end and feel inclined to succumb to panic, don't; stand true to God and He will bring His truth out in a way that will make your life a sacrament. Put into practice what you learned with your Elijah, use his cloak and pray. Determine to trust in God and do not look for Elijah any more. ~My Utmost For His Highests

The Summer Summarized

In one post? I don’t know if I really can summarize this summer and still communicate the affects of it fully. What can I say? It’s been an interesting one, an emotional one, one full of tears and laughter all mixed in a big bowl. It’s been one full of change which has become something I am becoming quite familiar with to say the least. It’s never comfortable but I’m still learning to embrace it rather than run from it. To accept whatever with joy which is normally not my initial reaction 100% of the time but I’m working on it. Change truly has become my best friend…

Change:

noun tense.

1. to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone
2. to transform or convert
3. to substitute another or others for; exchange for something else, usually of the same kind
4. to give and take reciprocally; interchange
5. to remove and replace the covering or coverings of

verb tense.

1. to become different
2. to become altered or modified
3. to become transformed or converted
4. to pass gradually into
5. to make a change or an exchange
6. to transfer between trains or other conveyances
7. to change one's clothes
8. to pass from one phase to another

There you have it. That is my summer summarized. God has stretched me in areas I never knew were possible to stretch, challenged beliefs I didn’t think could be challenged, shown light on dark places I never even knew existed and pushed me into places I never would have thought I was ready to go. My relationships have and will continue to change but oh, have they been tested! Ignorance in relationship is never bliss—it’s dangerous. The importance of truth and transparency in the light of Christ is something that can’t be ignored no matter how uncomfortable it may be. If our relationships with people are because of the blood of Christ then it costs us something. He has asked me the question: what is the ship that keeps your relation afloat? If that ship is not Christ and Him crucified your relation is not going to float. The condition of the waters isn’t even an issue if you have a boat that won’t float, it’s the test of righteous relation with one another in Christ. Relationship is something we have because of Christ but it is something that costs us. Something that doesn’t cost anything isn’t worth anything and won’t do anything. That’s where change enters in again.

This Change has brought so many things to the surface in me. Everything from pride, arrogance, insecurity, fear, ignorance but most importantly self. Self. Now that is most dangerous. He’s taught me that I can never be independent from Him. I look back five to six months ago and all I can say is “wow!” I’m a completely different person, altered, modified and it hasn’t been easy. But when I look back, only briefly to thank Christ for what He has done in me, I must say that all the difficulty, tears, sacrifice, hurt, confusion and everything I had to give up to obey Him in this process of becoming mature in Him- it was all worth it.

I know this is just the beginning of what Christ is doing in Me and I must say I can’t wait to see what’s around the next corner. It’s funny and certain people who know me will see how ironic it is for me to say what I’m about to say. I was thinking about my favorite childhood movie earlier, Pocahontas, I’d watch it over and over, had every book, every little nightgown and coloring book. My favorite part was we she got into the canoe and started down the river. It started off calm but gradually became fast and more exciting, maybe somewhat more dangerous and unpredictable but I just remember watching it and thinking “I wanna do that one day”. I know this sounds so immature but whatever ;) I am only 18 haha. Here’s a quote from the song in that clip:

What I love most about rivers is:
You can't step in the same river twice
The water's always changing, always flowing
But people, I guess, can't live like that
We all must pay a price
To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing
What's around the riverbend

You can step in the same river twice, you can choose to step in and never get back out but that’s not life in Christ. His living water is always changing, always flowing and never becoming stagnant. And we in Christ can and must live like that, it’s just the opposite of Pocahontas’s point of view. We must pay the price to not be safe in our own eyes, to simply trust the Creator of the river of this life in Him. We must pay the price to know Him. It doesn’t matter knowing what’s around the riverbend but the One who does. That’s the joy, that’s the rest but it takes obedience to Him. It takes giving up the reigns of ourselves but truly, that’s when we are the safest.

So there it is. Change. Something that we will all have as long as we live. We can choose to resist it but based on the past couple months of my life, if you want to take the advice of an 18 year old...it’s so much easier to simply cooperate with it, with Him.

“Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you.” Phil 3:12-16

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:6-7

The Sacrament Of The Saint

"Let them that suffer according to the will of God,commit the keeping of their souls to Him in well-doing."~Peter 4:19

To choose to suffer means that there is something wrong; to choose God's Will even if it means suffering is a very different thing. No healthy saint ever chooses suffering; he chooses God's will, as Jesus did, whether it means suffering or not. No saint dare interfere with the discipline of suffering in another saint.

The saint who satisfies the heart of Jesus will make other saints strong and mature for God. The people who do us good are never those who sympathize with us, they always hinder, because sympathy enervates. No one understands a saint but the saint who is nearest to the Saviour. If we accept the sympathy of a saint, the reflex feeling is - Well, God is dealing hardly with me. That is why Jesus said self-pity was of the devil (see Matt. 16:23). Be merciful to God's reputation. It is easy to blacken God's character because God never answers back, He never vindicates Himself. Beware of the thought that Jesus needed sympathy in His earthly life; He refused sympathy from man because He knew far too wisely that no one on earth understood what He was after. He took sympathy from His Father only, and from the angels in heaven. (Luke 15:10.)

Notice God's unutterable waste of saints, according to the judgment of the world. God plants His saints in the most useless places. We say - God intends me to be here because I am so useful. Jesus never estimated His life along the line of the greatest use. God puts His saints where they will glorify Him, and we are no judges at all of where that is. ~My Utmost For His Highest

Wow...so applicable to my life right now

Yes, That's MY Grandfather

Les Golmon General Manager of KALB-TV NBC/CBS Alexandria, Louisiana announced Monday Aug 2, that he had notified Hoak Media of his pending retirement. The tentative date of his retirement is October 2, 2009.

Les is a 49-year veteran of KALB-TV and has served as General Manager for the last 20 years. He began his career in 1960 as comptroller and moved into the sales department in 1974.

Les was named General Manager of the station in November 1989.






During his tenure as General Manager Les lead the staff through the transition process of four ownership changes.

Under his leadership KALB-TV remains a dominate role in the Alexandria Market and is recognized by NBC as a ratings leader in local news among all NBC Affiliates. There are 216 markets and KALB has consistently ranked in the top 10 based on Rating and Share.

Other notable accomplishments include his guidance over the last 10 years from the termination of the stations analog signal to the transition into HDTV. KALB was the first station in the state to cease broadcasting its analog signal February 16, the vast majority of the states stations made the move June 12.

Golmon also counts the acquisition of the CBS Network as one his more noteworthy accomplishments. KALB-TV now broadcasts both the NBC signal on 5.1 and the CBS signal on 5.2 further solidifying its dominance in the market.

“Leaving KALB does not change the fact that I will always be the number one fan of the station. I have assured ownership that if needed I will be available to assist in the transition to new management.”

His plans for the future include traveling with his wife Judy and spending more time with his four grandchildren.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Papa I'm so excited for you and so very proud to call you MY grandfather. You have no idea how much you encourage and inspire me. Ive watched the way you work my entire life and i must say it is outstanding. You've taught me so many things about dedication, hard work, endurance, and faithfulness without even opening your mouth. That's what its all about. The way you live your life, not the way you talk about it. And that is something that I respect so much about you. For someone who is so knowledgeable, so successful and wise you are so very humble about it. You simply show people who you are which means more than words ever will. I love you so very much Papa and can't wait to see whats going to happen next. Once again I'm so proud to be able to say "Yeah, Les Golmon is MY grandfather". I love you!